ABOUT ME
Hi, my name is Heather and I have a true passion to inform, encourage, support and connect stepmoms, making us stronger, smarter and more content. My focus at Café smom is YOU the STEPMOM. You are the heart of your family and you set the mood. If the Smom crumbles under the pressures of stepfamily life, the family is likely to follow. My mission is to help Stepmoms thrive, not just survive, stepfamily life.
I am not a perfect stepmom. I don’t believe one exists but I am honest about the joys and the heartaches I experience and I want to open up my world to you and help all of us grow to be better wives, moms, Smoms, and friends. When I first began navigating my role as stepmom, I had a difficult time finding a place where I could connect positively with other stepmoms. Therefore, in 2009 I launched my site to encourage, support and connect stepmoms in a positive way. I have enjoyed everyday and have taken all of your comments and suggestions into consideration. I am so excited about the relaunch of my site. It's better because of all of you and for all of you.
My husband, Andy, and I have been married since 2007 and have six children all under the age of 12. Andy has two daughters who live with us full-time and I have two daughters and two sons that live with us also. My ex-husband and I have a shared parenting agreement and they spend time with their dad during each week. I am committed to having a positive co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband for the benefit of my children. I also know the pain first hand when a parent abandons their children as I see and live it daily via my stepdaughters who haven’t seen their mother in over five years by her own choice.
“The Smart StepFamily” by Ron. L. Deal says it takes seven years for a stepfamily to blend and we are still in the blender. It has been a true blessing to bring our families together and to share my life with the man that I respect and love with all my heart. He supports me in my role as stepmom and that support, along with my strong faith, carries me through each and every day.
I am not a perfect stepmom. I don’t believe one exists but I am honest about the joys and the heartaches I experience and I want to open up my world to you and help all of us grow to be better wives, moms, Smoms, and friends. When I first began navigating my role as stepmom, I had a difficult time finding a place where I could connect positively with other stepmoms. Therefore, in 2009 I launched my site to encourage, support and connect stepmoms in a positive way. I have enjoyed everyday and have taken all of your comments and suggestions into consideration. I am so excited about the relaunch of my site. It's better because of all of you and for all of you.
My husband, Andy, and I have been married since 2007 and have six children all under the age of 12. Andy has two daughters who live with us full-time and I have two daughters and two sons that live with us also. My ex-husband and I have a shared parenting agreement and they spend time with their dad during each week. I am committed to having a positive co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband for the benefit of my children. I also know the pain first hand when a parent abandons their children as I see and live it daily via my stepdaughters who haven’t seen their mother in over five years by her own choice.
“The Smart StepFamily” by Ron. L. Deal says it takes seven years for a stepfamily to blend and we are still in the blender. It has been a true blessing to bring our families together and to share my life with the man that I respect and love with all my heart. He supports me in my role as stepmom and that support, along with my strong faith, carries me through each and every day.
ABOUT THE SITE
I like to think I invented the word smom as I had never heard the word before I wrote it in a card for one of my stepdaughters. But I won’t be that bold. I will tell you that I love the word and I want to spread it like wildfire. Here goes my story into smomhood!
I had been a stepmom for only a few months when my husband and I decided to take a weekend trip just the two of us. I wanted to leave a card for each of our six kids to find while we were gone. Yes, we have six kids between the ages of 6 and 12.
Well, filling out my kids’ cards was easy, I just signed it love mom but when I came to signing my stepdaughter’s cards I stopped. Writing my first name seemed too formal. Writing the word mom wasn’t right either for two reasons – it would hurt my kids’ feelings and it is disrespectful to their biological mom. (Oh the juggling act we do each day – I know you can all relate). I just stood there getting very anxious about how to sign their card. So I decided to sign it smom and thinking it was S “space” mom and saying it that way. I showed it to my husband and he read it smom. We both liked it and my oldest stepdaughter just loved it. In fact that’s how she refers to me. The word stuck.
What should your stepkids call you is only one of the hundreds of puzzle pieces you have to figure out when you are in a blended family. I have always disliked referring to myself as stepmom. Not because of the role but rather due to all the cultural images of wicked stepmoms like Cinderella’s stepmother, Snow White’s stepmother and just all the jokes and untrue negative images about stepmoms.
This isn’t to say that I don’t have “wicked” days but I do love my husband and I have accepted this new role of caring for his two girls. I don’t believe the word stepmom accurately portrays the blood, sweat, tears and love I pour into our blended family. I’m a smom and proud of it. The word step just makes me feel removed from their lives and they removed from mine and nothing can be further from the truth. You know if you are in a blended family right now, everything is intermingled. To me smom is the softer side of stepmoms and has a positive feel.
From one smom to another smom you are on a wonderful journey and I hope we can take these joyous and challenging steps together.
I had been a stepmom for only a few months when my husband and I decided to take a weekend trip just the two of us. I wanted to leave a card for each of our six kids to find while we were gone. Yes, we have six kids between the ages of 6 and 12.
Well, filling out my kids’ cards was easy, I just signed it love mom but when I came to signing my stepdaughter’s cards I stopped. Writing my first name seemed too formal. Writing the word mom wasn’t right either for two reasons – it would hurt my kids’ feelings and it is disrespectful to their biological mom. (Oh the juggling act we do each day – I know you can all relate). I just stood there getting very anxious about how to sign their card. So I decided to sign it smom and thinking it was S “space” mom and saying it that way. I showed it to my husband and he read it smom. We both liked it and my oldest stepdaughter just loved it. In fact that’s how she refers to me. The word stuck.
What should your stepkids call you is only one of the hundreds of puzzle pieces you have to figure out when you are in a blended family. I have always disliked referring to myself as stepmom. Not because of the role but rather due to all the cultural images of wicked stepmoms like Cinderella’s stepmother, Snow White’s stepmother and just all the jokes and untrue negative images about stepmoms.
This isn’t to say that I don’t have “wicked” days but I do love my husband and I have accepted this new role of caring for his two girls. I don’t believe the word stepmom accurately portrays the blood, sweat, tears and love I pour into our blended family. I’m a smom and proud of it. The word step just makes me feel removed from their lives and they removed from mine and nothing can be further from the truth. You know if you are in a blended family right now, everything is intermingled. To me smom is the softer side of stepmoms and has a positive feel.
From one smom to another smom you are on a wonderful journey and I hope we can take these joyous and challenging steps together.