Welcome to Café Smom.com!
Smom (smam) n. – a noble woman who cares for and nurtures her husband’s children (aka stepmom).
Hi, my name is Heather and welcome to Café Smom! I am a wife, an ex-wife, mom and stepmom, a writer and speaker and a woman of faith whose passion is to serve the stepfamily by supporting and encouraging the heart of it – the stepmother!
My heart is to inform, encourage, support and connect stepmoms, making us stronger, smarter and more content. My focus at Café Smom is YOU the STEPMOM and my mission is to help you thrive, not just survive, stepfamily life.
I am not a perfect stepmom. I don’t believe one exists but I am honest about the joys and the heartaches I experience. When I first began navigating my role as stepmom, I had a difficult time finding a place where I could connect positively with other stepmoms. Therefore, in 2009 I launched my site to encourage, support and connect stepmoms in a positive way.
A Little About Heather and Her Blended Family
My husband, Andy, and I have been married since 2007 and share six children all under the age of 15. Yes, we also share a lot of joys and challenges in the blending of our families. Andy has two daughters who live with us full-time and I have two daughters and two sons that live with us. My ex-husband and I have a shared parenting agreement and they spend time with their dad during each week. I am committed to having a positive co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband for the benefit of our children. I also know the pain first hand when a parent abandons their children as I see and live it daily via my stepdaughters who don’t see mom.
My trademark is a positive attitude. But please note, that doesn’t mean my life is easy breezy because it’s not. I’ve learned (mostly the hard way) that the best way to approach each day is with a strong faith, a positive attitude, a grateful heart, great girlfriends and a strong cup of coffee. This doesn’t stop the challenges from coming but it does stop them from conquering my day.
What’s a ‘Smom’?
I like to think I invented the word smom as I had never heard the word before I wrote it in a card for one of my stepdaughters. But I won’t be that bold. I will tell you that I love the word and I want to spread it like wildfire. Here goes my story into smomhood!
I had been a stepmom for only a few months when my husband and I decided to take a weekend trip just the two of us. I wanted to leave a card for each of our six kids to find while we were gone.
Well, filling out my kids’ cards was easy, I just signed it love mom but when I came to signing my stepdaughter’s cards I stopped. Writing my first name seemed too formal. Writing the word mom wasn’t right either for two reasons – it would hurt my kids’ feelings and it is disrespectful to their biological mom. (Oh the juggling act we do each
day – I know you can all relate). I just stood there getting very anxious about how to sign their card. So I decided to sign it smom and thinking it was S “space” mom and saying it that way. I showed it to my husband and he read it smom. We both liked it and my oldest stepdaughter just loved it. In fact that’s how she refers to me. The word stuck. So in 2009, I launched Cafe Smom.
What should your stepkids call you is only one of the hundreds of puzzle pieces you have to figure out when you are in a blended family. Did I mention my favorite word to describe stepfamily living is “complicated”?
As a stepmom myself, I know first hand that this job can be rewarding and challenging all at the same time. That’s why I’ve created a community of stepmothers that can share in each other’s joys and sorrows. A place that will affirm you each and every day for what you do and be a reminder that you are the HEART of your blended family. You are important. You are valued. You are loved.
Pour yourself a cup of coffee, get cozy and get connected and encouraged. You have found a community of acceptance, support and encouragement. We keep it real and positive here!
My motto is “Stay Strong. Press On!”
Founder, Cafe Smom
Come visit me and my stepmom sisters at www.SisterhoodofStepmoms.com We are a ministry serving stepmoms by bringing help, hope and healing at our stepmom retreats. Join other women dating, engaged or married to a man with children for help, hope and healing. It’s a weekend that will bless you and your family!